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Laong nila an taga Tago kuno para-away pero hanugay. Mamingawuni naman ganahani mandahap-dahap nan notisya. Naman ini na pabyon inhimo para kita na mga Tagon-on magkasinusihay, magka-binayluay nan mga gilaong, nan notisya, nan kaayuhan.
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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:27 am 
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Love is the strongest and most fragile of all human emotions. Why we fall in and out of love is a question that has baffled romantics for ages.

This Greek mythology was introduced to me in dribs and drabs many years ago, then in early February, there it was again, this time, spelled out in its entirety. I took it as a sign that it is meant to be shared with you.

In the early 90s, my Greek friend Mary, and I, took a seven-day trip to her coastal hometown of Skiathos, a magnificent place a ferry ride away from Athens. The travel arrangements were made in haste, days after Mary was conveniently “dumped” by her balding, thick-spectacled Greek Pace University Professor boyfriend and months after I’d legally cut off all relations: personal and financial with someone.

The plan was to stay in Skiathos for two days with Mr. Costas and Mrs. Elani Sartzetakis, Mary’s doting grandparents to acclimate. Then, we’ll travel on to Crete, a more popular tourist destination and on to Agios Nikalaos to bask on her cousin’s “boat” in the picturesque lake at the north-western side of the Mirabello bay, the biggest bay in Crete, where scenic beauty is endless and the climate uniquely dry, not a hint of humidity. There, we were to savor sea urchins, grilled octopuses, squids and red snappers just like how we do it in the Philippines. I had no reservations in going because I’d met her cousin’s family the previous summer when they vacationed in NYC. But, when we arrived in Skiathos, Mary’s grandparents change all that.

Costas or Papou (Lolo) took a good look at us and decided we stay in Skiathos so Elani or Yiayia (Lola) can fatten us up. To the loving grandparents’ eyes, we were thin, pale and seriously in need of nourishment for both body and spirit. I told Mary I wouldn’t mind. The sights in Skiathos, the loving care, the delicious grape leaves, spanakopita and moussaka plus the ocean-fresh seafood Papou and Yiayia were about to feed us were way more than I had originally bargained for. We stayed.

During our visit, Yiayia was peppy… stirred us out of bed at 9 am, forced feed us typical Greek breakfast of warm thick breads, hard boiled eggs, olives, feta cheese and other assorted pastries with cheese fillings all fresh from her kitchen. Mary drank strong-brewed Greek coffee, I took strong unsweetened tea. The intention was to strengthen our constitution.

By the time breakfast was over, Papou would sail in through the side door sweaty from his daily walk. Soon after, Mary’s lounging on the deck soaking rays of the glorious Mediterranean sun. Yiayia heads to the kitchen to check on her stove and to work on her phyllo dough (so I could watch her assemble the baklava) while awaiting the arrival of her preordered bounty from the sea from Nikos which would be our lunch. Nikos is a gorgeously built and marvelously tan fisherman in his late twenties. He resides about five white-fences away from the Sartzetakis, he was Mary’s old summer chum - - - from elementary through high school, 3 weeks of Mary’s summer were spent in Greece so she can perfect her Greek writing. Nikos run a profitable business owning several fishing boats that supply daily catch to the finest restaurants in the area.

While Mary was tanning, Yiayia cooking, Papou and I remain seated on the kitchen table talking about anything that he thought I - - - a non-Greek --- needed to know about life in general.

Knowing our current predicament, I was slowly healing, Mary was suffering Papou was concerned of our well-being, and was absolutely certain that it’s just a matter of time before Mary and I can connect to our “COT HAP”. But, we must work on finding these “HAP”! His voice flavored with urgency because he said, we were getting on with age. “You eh Maary get old fine your cot hap soon ehhh?!” Papou commanded. “Papou” I said, "I’m totally confused!”

Hard as Papou struggled to explain and hard as I tried to understand, it was hopeless. My brain had decided to shut down and refused to comprehend what he was saying…I was lost in translation.

You see, despite Papou’s slightly loose dentures and super thick accent, Papou, at age 92, physical appearance worn by time, mind still as quick as whip, likes to talk particularly to a non-greek like me and share his hard earned wisdom. Our conversations were doomed from the start but somehow, I managed to grasp vital information such as: he was 19 when he found and married his “cot hap” - - - the then 16-year old Elani Raptis: Yiayia, the prettiest girl from the neighboring villages combined. Their union was long and fruitful having produced eleven children, forty two grandchildren and he cannot remember how many great-grandchildren and he and Yiayia are as happy as the day they met. I knew they got hitched young, now I know how old exactly. Theirs was one great love story.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The story of the “cot hap = cut half” or severed half came to me again surprisingly imbedded in Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book that Mary had graciously lent me. I’d read and returned it to her about two months ago. There, the story is printed in black and white with such clarity it made me start to cry because I thought of Papou then of Yiayia, God bless their happy souls. When I got to the chapter, I called Mary immediately when it all became clear to me. We laughed because unbeknown to me, the same story was told to her over and over again by Yiayia that time we were there. Yiayia didn’t speak a word of English, she told it to her in Greek. I was there listening but thinking that Yiayia was trying to convince Mary to marry Nikos (not her severed half) as it was obvious Nikos had a thing for Mary but, gentleman as he was, he didn’t want to ruin a good friendship. Mary lent me the book to see if I remember.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why we fall in and out of love? The problem is- - - "we humans are full of desire; it is the very hallmark of our emotional existence and it is what leads us to our downfall and downfall of others". Plato nailed it right on the head. For the first time, I fully understood what Papou was desperately trying to explain to me many years ago. He was telling me Plato’s, “The Symposium”.

It is the most famous treatise on desire ever written. In The Symposium, Plato describes a famous dinner party during which the playwright Aristophanes lays out the mythical story of why we humans have such deep longings for union with each other, and why our acts of union can sometimes be so unsatisfying, disastrous and even destructive.

Once upon a time, as Aristophanes relates, there were gods in the heavens and humans down on earth. But we humans did not look the way we look today. Instead, we each had two heads, four legs and four arms, a perfect melding of two people joined together seamlessly united into one being, one person. We came in three different possible gender variations: male/female, male/male and female/female blending, depending on what suited each creature the best.

Now, since we each had the perfect partner sewn into the very fabric of our being, we were all perfectly happy. All of us double-headed, eight-limbed, perfectly contented creatures moved across the land dreamily, orderly, smoothly lacking and wanting nothing. We had no unmet needs and we wanted nobody. There was no strife, no chaos, and no broken hearts because we were perfectly whole.

But, in our wholeness, we became overly proud. In our pride, we neglected and forgot to worship the gods. So the mighty Zeus punished us for our neglect and ingratitude by cutting all the doubled-headed, eight-limbed, perfectly happy and contented humans in half, (this is what Papou mean by “cot hap”) thereby creating a world of cruelly severed one-headed, two-armed, two-legged miserable individuals.

During this mass amputation, Zeus inflicted on mankind that most painful of human conditions: the dull and constant sense that we are not quite whole. For the rest of time, humans are born sensing that there is some missing part --- a lost half so to speak, that we love almost more than we love ourselves. We believe that this missing part is out there somewhere, in this vast universe spinning through in the form of another person. We are also born believing that if only we searched relentlessly enough, (which Papou commanded Mary and I to do) we will someday find that “cot hap”, that other soul--- our severed other half.

Through union with the other, we would recomplete our original form, never to experience loneliness again - - - which was what happened to Papou when he married Yiayia when they were 19 and 16, respectively. They were each other’s half, made whole. Wait, if they were each other’s half, what with the age difference? Huh, just pondering the correlation….

BUT, Aristophanes cautioned that this dream of completion-through-love is quite impossible because we are too broken as a species to ever entirely mend through simple union. The original chopped halves of the severed eight-limbed humans were far too scattered for any of us to ever find our missing halves again. But, here I surmise that the mighty Zeus took pity upon us mortals and decided to bestow on us a precious gift --- the creation of the internet, the world-wide-web so we can find our severed halves in every corner of the globe in all sorts of sites and chat rooms without leaving the comfort of our office or home. Most cost effective way to find and reconnect to our severed half!!!

But not so fast…union can make a person feel complete and sated for a while but somehow in one way or another, we will all be left alone with ourselves again. So the loneliness and longing continues, which causes us to mate with the wrong people over and over again, seeking perfected union. You see, we may believe at times that we have found our other severed half, but, it’s more likely that what we’ve found is somebody else who is searching for his other half as well - - - someone who is equally desperate to believe that he has found that completion in us. So, our search continues........

Now, what’s my take on this? I agree with Aristophanes that this dream of completion-through-love is impossible. At present day and age? I believe that love like Papou and Yiayia is a great rarity. To cope with the ever changing time, I think we, the severed halves, need to be a little creative. To achieve and maintain that elusive “complete union”, the severed two halves who’ve managed to find each other must do all possible to constantly adjust, tweak, mend and lubricate the scarred area where the two halves are joined to avoid friction. This way the two halves can work harmoniously, smoothly and move, function as one.

Ah...those Greeks, they're most fascinating.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



Pats, tsk, tsk, tsk I got carried away.

Kibs, your FB postings motivated me.

K-Spy please don't spank me for making fun of Plato and the gods. Can't resists. :-D

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Last edited by Alibangbang on Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:27 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:16 am 
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abb,

no worries kay waray gayud in sabtan ko. hahahaha then and now, philosophers are beyond me; pato is more accessible. :-)

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:11 am 
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Mana Abb,

You are right. It's the most complicated thing as it has always been. It bumps on you when less expected. Too mysterious yet, elusive. No wonder many gets crazy.
..........
Dayawi an tagosds kuman kay damo-in mabasa singkitar dan sa tago na puno nan buwad na humay. An resulta, KAGID! Again, very complicated. hahahahaha Unoy labot lugar, LORD! Ha-in dapit! :-D


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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:15 am 
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kampanaryo_spy wrote:
abb,

no worries kay waray gayud in sabtan ko. hahahaha then and now, philosophers are beyond me; [color=#4040BF]pato is more accessible
. :-) [/color]


Ag mo kay dayon taraw kita ilakiplakip na kagan o pasa kita dungga. :-D


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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:26 pm 
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pato wrote:
Ag mo kay dayon taraw kita ilakip lakip na kagan o pasa kita dungga.


pats,

laong pan mga letra nan mananoy na kanta: I don't want clever conversation! :-D

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:12 pm 
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mana abb, I say, we begin to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. :-)


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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:53 pm 
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kampanaryo_spy wrote:
pato wrote:
Ag mo kay dayon taraw kita ilakip lakip na kagan o pasa kita dungga.


pats,

laong pan mga letra nan mananoy na kanta: I don't want clever conversation! :-D


K-Spy,

Hahahahahahaha an pagka malditohi mo pasa gayud. Ag sa lang kita bothan nan pantug. :lol: :lol: Imo kay gayud dayon kami ni Pato duwa-duwa-an (ikaw lugar taraw an kuding- Sylvester, kami :-k oh no...Pats can't be Tweety Bird so, kami taraw ambaw...Pats hope you don't mind us being ratatouilles :-D :-D .

-----------------

“I don’t want clever conversation
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew”

Then ....“Uptown girl…she’s been living in her uptown world…I’m gonna try for an uptown girl...she’s been living in her white bread world...I’m in love with an uptown girl…” :shock: They married in 1985, :-D divorced in 1994!!! :shock:
Darn! Wrong half! :p

K-Spy, you're so funny you tear me apart :roll :roll

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:41 pm 
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kiboglets wrote:
mana abb, I say, we begin to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. :-)


Kibs,

You got it girl, you got it!!!!!!! :D :D :D

We must learn to recognize the difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation makes a fool out of us. It deprives us of sound judgment. I confess, there were no sparks or butterflies in my stomach when I first saw my husband. I didn't go out with him until months later. But, love found its way. It grew and flourished and now I can't imagine life without him.

Don’t mistake me, we disagree on things, many things but we try to resolve it and talk it out until we come to an agreement. Marriage is a work in progress, always will. Signed: Manang Bess :-D

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:59 pm 
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pato wrote:
Mana Abb,

You are right. It's the most complicated thing as it has always been. It bumps on you when less expected. Too mysterious yet, elusive. No wonder many gets crazy.
..........
Dayawi an tagosds kuman kay damo-in mabasa singkitar dan sa tago na puno nan buwad na humay. An resulta, KAGID! Again, very complicated. hahahahaha Unoy labot lugar, LORD! Ha-in dapit! :-D


Pats,

Okay da Pats kay hu min piyong dayon ako. Nan ga piyong na ako this is what I saw from what you wrote ....gawas sa buwad na humay kit-an ko yaoy isab binuwad na copras, yaon pay gayod yanag dalindalin na mga ido sa kilid nan karsada. Very interesting. Ayaw kalimti na technicolor isab kay as my mind travel through sa dan what is an mga hinayhay baya na mga bado, tualya and karsonsilyo ni bugsy kay masuga sa paga buwa-buwa nan hangin. Astan mga buwak sa kilid nan koral nila ni K-Spy mahamoti. Yup tagosds, if full of surprises...come, spend time with us and we'll make it worth you while. :D

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Last edited by Alibangbang on Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:09 pm 
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Mana Abs,

the more i wanted to be in Greece after reading your "mouthful" entry into this thread... balitaw.

Wang/Pato,

dayawi mo-iban ngadto sa tour (Turkey plus Greece) nila ni ESL... (libre mangarap)

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Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 11:29 pm 
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gingot wrote:
Mana Abs,

the more i wanted to be in Greece after reading your "mouthful" entry into this thread... balitaw.

Wang/Pato,

dayawi mo-iban ngadto sa tour (Turkey plus Greece) nila ni ESL... (libre mangarap)


Hi Gingot,

Thanks ... the best time to visit Greece and Turkey if I may say from experience is between May-June and Sept. Avoid August because Europe shuts down for vacation and Greece is flooded with tourists. You don’t see and feel the authenticity because every which way you turn all you see are blondes and blue eyes. Go... you'll have a blast.
:-D

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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:22 am 
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kiboglets wrote:
mana abb, I say, we begin to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. :-)


abb,

this comment of kibs brings back to mind the cheesiest line in "Jerry Maguire" that supports the Grecian concept of "cot-hap." Nope, it's not "you had me at hello."

Remember the elevator scene where Jerry and Dorothy were joined by a hearing impaired couple? The man started talking with his hands, and when they left Jerry said, "I wonder what he just said." Dorothy answered. "My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said '________________.'"

abb, say the line for me, puleezz. :-D

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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:31 am 
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K-Spy,

Oh good lord....must I ? :-D

I would like to say: "SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! SHOW ME THE MONEEEEYYYYY!!!!!". But I think... "He just said, YOU COMPLETE ME". =P~

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


Last edited by Alibangbang on Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 10:23 am 
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kiboglets wrote:
mana abb, I say, we begin to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. :-)


Kibs, amo yaon an pagalaong ni borag na: "love is like a bubble gum kun mopilit makabuang." :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin:

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