|
The Husband and Wife Thing
Weekend is when I draw the curtains in the bedrooms down so the family can sleep in. But, this doesn’t apply to me. Terry, our next door neighbor, my walking partner will not allow it! “Come, you’ll thank me when you get old” she says. “I’m already old… ask Liza, Nancy or somebody else….” I said pleadingly one morning but she’ll hear none of it. “They don’t have early morning stamina like you. Come, I’ll feed you good breakfast after,” she bargains and I oblige. Yeah…stamina built out of necessity walking to and fro: Victoria-Tago-Tago-Victoria of so long ago.
Terry’s Korean but grew up in Japan. She’s elegant, intelligent, sweet, but unlike most Japanese women, she’s strong willed and pushy who’s nearing 70 but don’t look and act a bit like it. She’s a 6-mile-a-day-walker. I walked with her one Saturday about 6 years ago, and since then, this has become our Saturday and Sunday morning routine, that is, of course, until the weather turns nose-numbingly cold.
If I’m not outside by 6:45 am, she’ll honk and if I don’t respond, she’ll ring the doorbell which means she’ll awaken everyone since Lu had set the volume on high so the chime can be heard all the way down the basement. Saturday and Sunday, my BB’s alarm is set to vibrate at 6:15. I place it under my pillow in order not to disturb my ever slightly snoring husband. Terry’s ringing the doorbell defeats all that so I wait outside.
Past Saturday, the 19th, was Tatay’s 11th death anniversary. I set my alarm fifteen minutes early to have time to offer prayers, reminisce and talk to him as though he’s there sitting in front of me.
Done crying, I went downstairs to get ready. While the coffee's brewing, the bagel's toasting, I slip to the bathroom to give my face, neck, arms and legs a good coating of Aveeno SPF 50 when suddenly I heard thundering down the stairs. Why are the kids up so early? Ping, light bulb! Ah…Enzo, their cousin from Manila is here attending a 3-week camp in Connecticut. The plan is to spend the day, chill together at my brother-in-law’s house.
The prospect of seeing their cousin made Alexa and Karlo giddy with excitement. It got them out of bed early and here they are coming down the basement to disassemble and pack the drum, guitars, microphones and other accessories needed for their multi-player/platform guitar hero and gathering other multi-player games they were asked to bring over.
With Nicolo and Karlo done with finals, another cousin home from college and Enzo and company coming, an idea was born--- they’ll hold a video game tournament. This presented a dilemma few days ago with Alexa not done with finals as yet. “Don’t worry” she assured her father, “I’ll take care of it.” True to her words, she texted Anna and Alli and forego the plan they had to watch “Toy Story” Friday night. She stayed home, pore over books and study.
==========================
Busy collecting their stuff; untangling, recoiling mess of grey, black and white wires they hadn’t noticed I was in the bathroom. Soon, they continued their conversation carried down from upstairs and from the sound of it, seems this conversation’s been going on for a while:
K: Yeah, yeah I know… but what if they will not ask me again?
A: So what? Do you really care? Tyler’s a jerk! Yup, he’s a jerk!
Tyler? Who’s Tyler? Think ABB…think… ah… that Tyler. Alexa’s right…. that kid is trouble. His parents owns if not co-owns half of the Pizzerias in the tri-state area… he plays dirty basketball… spoiled kid….the school can’t do anything about it because the parents are school alumni AND rumor has it, the family’s yearly donation is quite hefty.
K: Yeah… he thinks he’s all that.
A: He’s all that??? He’s as hollow as a nutshell… he has good hair though…. (laugher). I think Tyler asked you because he likes Brooke!
K: Yeah..Justin said he goes to his dad’s barber at least one time every week!!!!! (chuckles)
A: Brooke and Claire are twins and Michael told you Claire said you’re the only dateable guy in the whole of 7th grade. That’s it!!!
Huh?!? My son? He’s just a boy and now labeled dateable? Is this why he’s trying to lose his baby fat? This is getting scary… should I really be listening in? I’m eavesdropping into my children’s conversation! This is freaky. Ignorance is bless but I don’t want to be ignorant of what’s going on… I have to listen in!!!
K: Alexa!!!!!
A: Tell me who do you like more? Claire? Or Jaime? Jaime likes you
K: She wishes…
Silence except for the sound of shuffling of paper and plastic bags
K: Can I borrow your phone?
A: Use your own….
K: It’s upstairs
A: What you going to do?
K: I’ll text Tyler….
A: Text him what?
K: I’ll tell him I’ll go if Michael and Justin are going
A: (laughing) That’s COLD….Very COLD….
K: I know… (chuckle) they hate each other’s guts.
I know these kids. Michael and Tyler are oil and water since Kindergarten. They’re civil in school but outside, they don’t mix. Is this Karlo’s way of bailing out whatever it is that they’re discussing?
A: Really bro… if you want my opinion… (she didn’t wait for her brother’s answer) The girls think Tyler’s IT… I think you should just hang out with the boys in your cliques. Boys and girls your age shouldn’t hang out together anyway.
Huh?!? At any age!!! I wanted to butt in
Silence but I can hear Karlo mumbling he can’t untangle the wires.
A: And you shouldn’t be friendly with the opposite sex. You know…. from ten, or maybe eleven, or maybe twelve, it depends ….the body starts to change…. if you’re too friendly then you become F-R-I-E-N-D-S… When you’re FRIENDS… First… friends hang out at the mall… then they’ll hang out at the beach. Then, they hang out at the movies… then, they hang out at each other’s house…. they swim at each other’s pool… one of those days the parents aren’t going to be there….then, they sit on the couch… then, they begin to kiss… then, they …..french kisssss……….
K: Ewwwwww…
A: Yes, but wait let me finish…. Then, they start to strip…then, they’re stripping….then, they’re like totally….I mean, totally naked…. and if the parents won’t come home in time… then….they’ll do the “husband and wife thing”. And then eventually the parent’s gonna find out and THAT’S BAD…REALLLL….BADDDDDDDD!!!!!!! The parents will get pissed, really pissed off …they won’t spend the money to send them to college and that’s how one becomes a hobo or a stockman at Walmart. Yup!
Oh my Lord….my jaw drops. She’s totally floored me. Where did she learn/hear that???… She’s reading too much. The bathroom spin, I’m dizzy processing the information I’ve just heard!
K: Woooo….wooo…. wooo….stop… what are you doing? Where did you put my memory card?
Wait, was Karlo listening to what she was saying?
A: Look! It’s on top of the GameStop plastic bag… you blind?
K: Don’t put it there, give me... I’ll keep it in my pocket…..
K: ...... if his parents come home… they will not know where Tyler is anyways. Their house is HUGE! I swear it’s like a mountain. There’s a bowling alley in the basement and they have a home theater with popcorn machine.
…. he was listening….
==================
HOLY CRAP… that’s Terry honking…..I swung open the ajar bathroom door, ”Guys/Alex, quick open the garage door and tell Terry I’m coming…go… go… before she rings the bell and wake up dad.”
“MOMMMMMMM… how long have you been there?” Karlo asked. “Long enough” I said.
===================
Can’t walk 6 miles in an empty stomach so I shoved two Fiber One bars in my pocket. “Guys, tell dad he can have my coffee and there’s bagel in the toaster.”
“Alex, how did you know about that?” I asked. “Know about what?” she asked back. “You know the…” I made air quotes and said, “Husband and wife thing?” “Oh that! From Mr. Newborn” (Mr. Newborn was her 7th Grade Religion teacher). I turned to Karlo, “your class wasn’t told that by Mr. Newborn Karlito?” He ignored me, focused on detangling yet another set of knotted wires. “Karlo?” I asked again. “Yes, mom…Mr. Newborn told us different… sex is a sin and it’s dirty until you are married”. “HUH?” I got floored again but I can’t keep Terry waiting. We need to go before the sun gets high and the boardwalk too hot.
“Alex, my love…. thanks for listening to Mr. Newborn…. “
“Sure Mom… enjoy your walk”
“Guys, see you in about two hours.”
With that, I run outside, press the pad to close the garage door and hop into Terry’s car.
= = = = = = = = = = = == = = = =
In our eyes (Lu's and mine), they’re still kids, but in light of what I've heard from my "accidental eavesdropping", I recognize that they’re growing faster than I had originally imagined.
Sibuling…. they may act and behave like children still but during this unguarded moment, their conversation reveals that their thinking has now taken a different path. We can’t shelter them forever but we can prepare them to face the danger and temptation that lies ahead and most importantly, pray that God will keep them and guide them to become the young adults and adults that God intended them to be.
For my part, raising children here is a delicate and fragile balancing act. I need to be extremely sensitive to sense when to be a friend and when to be a mother. It's a challenge and we need to learn to pick our battles.
To all fathers out there….belated happy father’s day…
Note: I used names from Karlo's class but just the names... the classmates/friends discussed in their conversation, in real life, are named differently
_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess
Last edited by Alibangbang on Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
|
Login
FAQ
Search
She's awkward still, cautious, and disinterested. And, if need to she knows how to shoo boys away. 
) nan una mabidouni gayud yadto. Kon hapit nan amihan, madali sa lagi mo sawup an suga, kon madudum na tapos wa pa kami maka uli gikan sa Falcon, mag bugkos na dayon yadto nan layong para mag sugat. Now, I know why. Elizabeth Stone says it well, “making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” I feel it, my children are part of the fabric of my being but detached from me. ](./images/smilies/eusa_wall.gif "Brick wall")
. Sounds like I’m making excuses, but, it is what it is. I gave them fish! I neglected to teach them how to fish.
Last night my husband and I came home to a warm delicious dish of beef stroganoff. She cooked! From scratch! 
Note to self: Acquaint the children what's inside the kitchen cabinets)