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Laong nila an taga Tago kuno para-away pero hanugay. Mamingawuni naman ganahani mandahap-dahap nan notisya. Naman ini na pabyon inhimo para kita na mga Tagon-on magkasinusihay, magka-binayluay nan mga gilaong, nan notisya, nan kaayuhan.
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Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:15 am 
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The Husband and Wife Thing

Weekend is when I draw the curtains in the bedrooms down so the family can sleep in. But, this doesn’t apply to me. Terry, our next door neighbor, my walking partner will not allow it! “Come, you’ll thank me when you get old” she says. “I’m already old… ask Liza, Nancy or somebody else….” I said pleadingly one morning but she’ll hear none of it. “They don’t have early morning stamina like you. Come, I’ll feed you good breakfast after,” she bargains and I oblige. Yeah…stamina built out of necessity walking to and fro: Victoria-Tago-Tago-Victoria of so long ago.

Terry’s Korean but grew up in Japan. She’s elegant, intelligent, sweet, but unlike most Japanese women, she’s strong willed and pushy who’s nearing 70 but don’t look and act a bit like it. She’s a 6-mile-a-day-walker. I walked with her one Saturday about 6 years ago, and since then, this has become our Saturday and Sunday morning routine, that is, of course, until the weather turns nose-numbingly cold.

If I’m not outside by 6:45 am, she’ll honk and if I don’t respond, she’ll ring the doorbell which means she’ll awaken everyone since Lu had set the volume on high so the chime can be heard all the way down the basement. Saturday and Sunday, my BB’s alarm is set to vibrate at 6:15. I place it under my pillow in order not to disturb my ever slightly snoring husband. Terry’s ringing the doorbell defeats all that so I wait outside.

Past Saturday, the 19th, was Tatay’s 11th death anniversary. I set my alarm fifteen minutes early to have time to offer prayers, reminisce and talk to him as though he’s there sitting in front of me.

Done crying, I went downstairs to get ready. While the coffee's brewing, the bagel's toasting, I slip to the bathroom to give my face, neck, arms and legs a good coating of Aveeno SPF 50 when suddenly I heard thundering down the stairs. Why are the kids up so early? Ping, light bulb! Ah…Enzo, their cousin from Manila is here attending a 3-week camp in Connecticut. The plan is to spend the day, chill together at my brother-in-law’s house.

The prospect of seeing their cousin made Alexa and Karlo giddy with excitement. It got them out of bed early and here they are coming down the basement to disassemble and pack the drum, guitars, microphones and other accessories needed for their multi-player/platform guitar hero and gathering other multi-player games they were asked to bring over.

With Nicolo and Karlo done with finals, another cousin home from college and Enzo and company coming, an idea was born--- they’ll hold a video game tournament. This presented a dilemma few days ago with Alexa not done with finals as yet. “Don’t worry” she assured her father, “I’ll take care of it.” True to her words, she texted Anna and Alli and forego the plan they had to watch “Toy Story” Friday night. She stayed home, pore over books and study.

==========================

Busy collecting their stuff; untangling, recoiling mess of grey, black and white wires they hadn’t noticed I was in the bathroom. Soon, they continued their conversation carried down from upstairs and from the sound of it, seems this conversation’s been going on for a while:

K: Yeah, yeah I know… but what if they will not ask me again?

A: So what? Do you really care? Tyler’s a jerk! Yup, he’s a jerk!

Tyler? Who’s Tyler? Think ABB…think… ah… that Tyler. Alexa’s right…. that kid is trouble. His parents owns if not co-owns half of the Pizzerias in the tri-state area… he plays dirty basketball… spoiled kid….the school can’t do anything about it because the parents are school alumni AND rumor has it, the family’s yearly donation is quite hefty.

K: Yeah… he thinks he’s all that.

A: He’s all that??? He’s as hollow as a nutshell… he has good hair though…. (laugher). I think Tyler asked you because he likes Brooke!

K: Yeah..Justin said he goes to his dad’s barber at least one time every week!!!!! (chuckles)

A: Brooke and Claire are twins and Michael told you Claire said you’re the only dateable guy in the whole of 7th grade. That’s it!!!

Huh?!? My son? He’s just a boy and now labeled dateable? Is this why he’s trying to lose his baby fat? This is getting scary… should I really be listening in? I’m eavesdropping into my children’s conversation! This is freaky. Ignorance is bless but I don’t want to be ignorant of what’s going on… I have to listen in!!!

K: Alexa!!!!!

A: Tell me who do you like more? Claire? Or Jaime? Jaime likes you

K: She wishes…

Silence except for the sound of shuffling of paper and plastic bags

K: Can I borrow your phone?

A: Use your own….

K: It’s upstairs

A: What you going to do?

K: I’ll text Tyler….

A: Text him what?

K: I’ll tell him I’ll go if Michael and Justin are going

A: (laughing) That’s COLD….Very COLD….

K: I know… (chuckle) they hate each other’s guts.

I know these kids. Michael and Tyler are oil and water since Kindergarten. They’re civil in school but outside, they don’t mix. Is this Karlo’s way of bailing out whatever it is that they’re discussing?

A: Really bro… if you want my opinion… (she didn’t wait for her brother’s answer) The girls think Tyler’s IT… I think you should just hang out with the boys in your cliques. Boys and girls your age shouldn’t hang out together anyway.

Huh?!? At any age!!! I wanted to butt in

Silence but I can hear Karlo mumbling he can’t untangle the wires.

A: And you shouldn’t be friendly with the opposite sex. You know…. from ten, or maybe eleven, or maybe twelve, it depends ….the body starts to change…. if you’re too friendly then you become F-R-I-E-N-D-S… When you’re FRIENDS… First… friends hang out at the mall… then they’ll hang out at the beach. Then, they hang out at the movies… then, they hang out at each other’s house…. they swim at each other’s pool… one of those days the parents aren’t going to be there….then, they sit on the couch… then, they begin to kiss… then, they …..french kisssss……….

K: Ewwwwww…

A: Yes, but wait let me finish…. Then, they start to strip…then, they’re stripping….then, they’re like totally….I mean, totally naked…. and if the parents won’t come home in time… then….they’ll do the “husband and wife thing”. And then eventually the parent’s gonna find out and THAT’S BAD…REALLLL….BADDDDDDDD!!!!!!! The parents will get pissed, really pissed off …they won’t spend the money to send them to college and that’s how one becomes a hobo or a stockman at Walmart. Yup!

Oh my Lord….my jaw drops. She’s totally floored me. Where did she learn/hear that???… She’s reading too much. The bathroom spin, I’m dizzy processing the information I’ve just heard!

K: Woooo….wooo…. wooo….stop… what are you doing? Where did you put my memory card?

Wait, was Karlo listening to what she was saying?

A: Look! It’s on top of the GameStop plastic bag… you blind?

K: Don’t put it there, give me... I’ll keep it in my pocket…..

K: ...... if his parents come home… they will not know where Tyler is anyways. Their house is HUGE! I swear it’s like a mountain. There’s a bowling alley in the basement and they have a home theater with popcorn machine.

…. he was listening….

==================

HOLY CRAP… that’s Terry honking…..I swung open the ajar bathroom door, ”Guys/Alex, quick open the garage door and tell Terry I’m coming…go… go… before she rings the bell and wake up dad.”

“MOMMMMMMM… how long have you been there?” Karlo asked. “Long enough” I said.

===================

Can’t walk 6 miles in an empty stomach so I shoved two Fiber One bars in my pocket. “Guys, tell dad he can have my coffee and there’s bagel in the toaster.”

“Alex, how did you know about that?” I asked. “Know about what?” she asked back. “You know the…” I made air quotes and said, “Husband and wife thing?” “Oh that! From Mr. Newborn” (Mr. Newborn was her 7th Grade Religion teacher). I turned to Karlo, “your class wasn’t told that by Mr. Newborn Karlito?” He ignored me, focused on detangling yet another set of knotted wires. “Karlo?” I asked again. “Yes, mom…Mr. Newborn told us different… sex is a sin and it’s dirty until you are married”. “HUH?” I got floored again but I can’t keep Terry waiting. We need to go before the sun gets high and the boardwalk too hot.

“Alex, my love…. thanks for listening to Mr. Newborn…. “

“Sure Mom… enjoy your walk”

“Guys, see you in about two hours.”

With that, I run outside, press the pad to close the garage door and hop into Terry’s car.

= = = = = = = = = = = == = = = =

In our eyes (Lu's and mine), they’re still kids, but in light of what I've heard from my "accidental eavesdropping", I recognize that they’re growing faster than I had originally imagined.

Sibuling…. they may act and behave like children still but during this unguarded moment, their conversation reveals that their thinking has now taken a different path. We can’t shelter them forever but we can prepare them to face the danger and temptation that lies ahead and most importantly, pray that God will keep them and guide them to become the young adults and adults that God intended them to be.

For my part, raising children here is a delicate and fragile balancing act. I need to be extremely sensitive to sense when to be a friend and when to be a mother. It's a challenge and we need to learn to pick our battles.

To all fathers out there….belated happy father’s day…

Note: I used names from Karlo's class but just the names... the classmates/friends discussed in their conversation, in real life, are named differently

_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


Last edited by Alibangbang on Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:46 pm 
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Abbs,

The conversation of the two youngsters titillated me. Obvious, they are now in a different phase of their young lives. Laong pa sa tagalog, “bukas o samakalawa magkakaroon na sila ng kani kanilang kasintahan” he he he. We may like it or not but it will happen. Hope not to Alex, just yet. It already has to my eldest who’s now turning 19 this coming Nov.

Eavesdropping on children’s conversations is a thing normal for parents. To me this is one way of being vigilant of their doings he he he.

Much that I adhere to the notion that there is no standard way of raising children , I wholly agree with you that in environments where we live parenting is a delicate act & requires even more a good balancing effort. I may add twice the effort of raising children in our time and in an environment like Tago.

My mothering is a concoction of authority, being a friend to them, a confidante, supporter and other else. I must say this approach really works. They are all open to us as to their adolescent dealings.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:01 am 
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Insom,

Anay abtiki na ako koman. Salamat sa Ginoo bagan inin dalagita ta kay girlschool sa siya laong siya madayaw kono kay an boys are "just distraction" bagan ini na bata liwat sa ina na late bloomer :-D She's awkward still, cautious, and disinterested. And, if need to she knows how to shoo boys away. :-D

Inin lakihay ta, siya an youngest amongst his cousins. Close siya sa iya mga igtag-sa. I just found out that he was schooled by them already nan facts about peer pressure. I think he understands.

Insom our family dynamic has certainly changed. Sa ato, children should be seen and not heard. Nganhi, it's the exact opposite... they drive and carry the conversation AND they want to have the last word. They're vocal and what get to me is when they use my words against me!!! PATIENCE is a virtue indeed!

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:11 pm 
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Abbs,

Madayao gani may Mr. Newborn ha ha ha.

Daan gayod si Alex will be a late bloomer, basin later than you were ha ha ha. Madayao hinoon para kanako Abbs labi pa in an environments we live. I'm sure you and I have the same feeling na kon puede lang dili naa sila modako pagdali so they would always be with us.

Sa ato pa si Karlo gaka conscious na taraw. Timan e magpa slim dayon lagi yaon. Di mo na kinahanglan papanawon. Parang kailan lang Emms amo? Dagko na sila koman.

Inin ako amo sa, kay tabaay sa an manghod bisan kon ga tennis ug basketball, pagtungtong gayod nan 17 permi na ga jogging ug paga assemble na an ila gym equipment. Very mindful na nan ila weight.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:59 am 
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Insom,

It kills me to see them grow up so quickly. But I guess it would kill me quicker if they didn't. But that’s a different discussion all together. :-D

Si Nanay (God rest her soul :cry: ) nan una mabidouni gayud yadto. Kon hapit nan amihan, madali sa lagi mo sawup an suga, kon madudum na tapos wa pa kami maka uli gikan sa Falcon, mag bugkos na dayon yadto nan layong para mag sugat. Now, I know why. Elizabeth Stone says it well, “making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” I feel it, my children are part of the fabric of my being but detached from me.

The kids spent Monday night with their cousins. Kahapon, bilin sila sa bay. The norm is, I call them, they call me, just to touch base then we go our merry way, till the next round of checking. Kahapon wara manawag tapos kon tawagan ko waray mo tubag. The landline and their cell phone just ring away to infinity voice mail not activated. Basta Insom an ako utok wara mahiluna. Lord, hain na sila???? At 2pm dili kona kaya ga panic na ako. Intawagan ko si Lu, he was in New Jersey, I’m in midtown Manhattan; he was closer in pauli ko to check on the kids.

My concern was, we had a heat wave. Yesterday’s temperature outside my office window registered at 102 degrees. Uli si Luis kay dili kosa buhi-an hangtod dili mouli. Pag abot niya sa bay tawag siya na an duha mga turog!!!! They set the thermostat at a cool 74 degrees!!!! Mga turogi paga off an ringer nan landline kay arang kono na telemarketer segen tawag. Aghrrg.... I made myself sick! Worrying while they were blissfully asleep. ](*,)

Pag abot ko sa bay of course Luis was super annoyed at me kay kabiduoni ko lagi.. (Ton kaw… liwat baya ako kan Nanay :cry: ) Langoti isab ako sa mga bata kay nga na wara mag pasi-daan na dili sila manobag nan telepono. Out of frustration I blurted out, “that’s why lioness sometimes ate their young!!!” Minlagat si Karlo, “Mom, you that hungry?” NO… not from hunger, from anger!!!

Long ago a friend told me that once you’ve given birth, you pretty much have repaid your parents. :-D Diaper, backward, spells repaid. Think about it. :-D
Truth is, it was much easier when they were in diapers!!!!!!

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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:14 pm 
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Abbs,

Ha ha ha, that bloody telemarketers were the reason they turned off the phone ringer. And their voicemails weren’t even activated.

Amo lagi Abbs it’s us, mothers, who worry a lot and if we don’t I guess that’s not normal he he he. That’s how I am too. Often your Classmate would tell me “you worry too much for things that are not bound to happen”.

Yes, It was on the news that NY was on 41 degrees. My God, that was too hot!

Sakto, diaper – repaid, your’e brilliant Abbs. I agree, it was easier when they were in diapers. All they did was to follow what we said. And now the reverse, we follow what they say ha ha ha. Pero Abbs, honestly, I now enjoy the stage we’re in. Di na ako kadayao magdali dali pag-uli to cook and feed the boys because they can now cook for them and us, he he. But then again I still have to cook sumptuous and nutritious meal for all. Your classmate and I don’t have to drive them to their sporting activities because Adobo is now driving and hopefully Teriyake will, soon. Koman lang kay school holdiays man, relax gayod ako because they do the laundry, house cleaning, shopping, etc. Di na madugay maka relax na kaw. Like what you said patience is all what we need.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 2:31 am 
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Insom,

Anay lagi… total waste of energy but what can I say…I’m a certified worrywart. :(

Weather’s still wacky. We’re anxious for rain. Please, God, send rain. Insom, our soft green grass of summer has turned into a blanket of spiky harsh straw.

Insom, ay nan mga bata pa sila they were exhibiting then subtle hints that they have mind of their own. An boy didn’t like to follow. He’d go wherever he wanted to go. Hard to let him out of our sight. Bung pasa iton matanak sa CN Tower sa Toronto. Sus kapila kami ma adag nan hinanapay sa Disneyworld sa Florida, sa Universal Studios sa LA kay kon ma lipat kaw dalii maka sibat. Until one day we had had enough so we kept him strapped on his stroller or on a child harness. 8-[

The girl on the other hand, never wandered off. She stayed close, usahay she's a few steps ahead until two summers ago when she got herself lost in of all places --- Rome!!! I thought I was going to die. When asked why she did what she did, her simple answer was: she wanted to explore. Thankfully, she learned a valuable lesson that when travelling abroad, like school of sardines navigating the vast ocean, safety is in numbers. To this day I cringe everytime this memory cross my mind.

Imparting knowledge on domesticity is where I miserably failed as a mother. My work schedule --- there simply isn’t enough time of the day to teach the basic of housekeeping and cooking. These, I'm embarrass to say, we "outsource" :oops: . Sounds like I’m making excuses, but, it is what it is. I gave them fish! I neglected to teach them how to fish. “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime” Insom, perhaps what I’m desperately trying to articulate here is, I ENVY YOU. :-D

Kinun-o kamo kadi gapaabot nakay si Binignit. Hain na raba anhi kay bahawan kono ako niya nan kun para may ato paksiwan pag kadi niyo.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:33 am 
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Insom,

Progress report:

We had some rain!!! Thank you Lord Jesus. :D

=================

May I gloat? :p Last night my husband and I came home to a warm delicious dish of beef stroganoff. She cooked! From scratch!

Reading is one thing I made sure they'd learn very early on. "You'll discover surprises" I used to tell them. :-)

Every cloud has a silver lining.... help's coming. :-D Next to the stove was Paula Deen’s, “Family Recipe Cookbook”, she’d borrowed from clique, Rebecca who loves to cook. She beamed, "Mom...Dad... I cooked!!!" Yahooooo.... surprise!!!! "See, my love what did I tell you? If one can read, one can manage to teach ones self just about anything". :-D

The kitchen floor and counter had dusting of flour but I was not about to complain. :-D

=================

Adto pa baya si Binignit sa ato. Sus kaapiki dakan garo sa iyo nga na wara dakan mo lahus amo? Ga bonding garo sila ni Classmate.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:42 pm 
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Abbs,

On domesticity – you didn’t fail on this as a mother, certainly not! And there’s no perfect mother either. Your glittering career may handicap you on this area. But with that, fate has compensated for it by blessing you with pecuniary bounty. Evidence of it is you have travelled to places too numerous to mention.

Sigi lang iton na kay gasugod na baya si Alex pagluto. Basin sa sunod daugon na kaw nan linutoay. Laong ko lagi moabot da an panahon, panahon na makadiskansar da kamo ni Lou. Patience above all, lang gayod an ato hinagiban as parents and trust everything will fall into place.

Adto baya si Binignit. Unsay guya an iyo classmate. Yakakaon na isab siya nan original na binignit he he he ug paw na may arnibal, I hope.

Basin next year na puhon kami katon. Pero kamo naa an mangadi ni Binignit.

On rain- ga drought baya kamo ngaton? Remember about my post on Australia’s drought before. Kamo na isab baya koman. And thank God it rained after all. Praise God for that.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 4:02 am 
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Insom,

Thanks for glamorizing “my” job but I’m afraid you’re referring to Binignit’s :-D not mine. Gurl, look at him leap-frogged from country to country, lugging heavy camera equipment living his dream… in search of magnificent hidden spots to capture his perfect shots. My job on the contrary is wearing me out - - - to the bone! No glitz here... none whatsoever. :cry:

The weather has become a burden to many these past few days with heat waves followed by severe or rather violent thunderstorms. I must say, I have renewed respect for Mother Nature....imagine half century old trees, knocked to the ground in minutes taking power lines along with them. They split and snapped like twigs falling on top of cars or houses in the wake of mother nature's fury. This being labeled as strange summer of 2010, I'm sure there will be more troublesome weather coming our way. Have you ever been caught driving in the middle of a hailstorm? It's okay if they're the size of mongo bean or corn but a little bigger like a dime/10 cents or a quarter? It's mighty scary!!!! The car's pretty banged up had to bring it to the shop for a paint job.

Cooking update: The other day Karlo handed me a crumpled grocery receipt and said “Mom you owe me this ‘cause we used my allowance”. The receipt was for ALL the beef stroganoff’s ingredients which were insane because half of the stuff needed to make the dish was already in our kitchen shelf. They bought a 5 pound bag of all purpose flour for the 4 tablespoons required in the recipe. I just bought a 5 lb bag a week ago!!!
( :-k Note to self: Acquaint the children what's inside the kitchen cabinets) :-D

They got ambitious again and this time she wanted to cook enchiladas, chalupas or chimichangas, Mexican dishes they’d acquired taste from eating Sylvia’s cooking. Oh! No you don’t! I thought to myself. I don’t want to buy the 19 ingredients (including topping) for the chimichangas alone. Told them it’s more practical to buy them cooked from a Mexican restaurant than cooking them at home. It’s cheaper and I don’t have to clean the mess afterwards. :-D

There's a freeze put on our international travel fund. :( It's depleted! We’re travelling local this year and maybe next --- figure, our little way of contribution to boast the local economy. 8-[

We’ll be waiting for you.

_________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter... don't mind and those that mind... don't matter." Dr. Suess


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