This Greek mythology was introduced to me in dribs and drabs many years ago, then in early February, there it was again, this time, spelled out in its entirety. I took it as a sign that it is meant to be shared with you.
In the early 90s, my Greek friend Mary, and I, took a seven-day trip to her coastal hometown of Skiathos, a magnificent place a ferry ride away from Athens. The travel arrangements were made in haste, days after Mary was conveniently “dumped” by her balding, thick-spectacled Greek Pace University Professor boyfriend and months after I’d legally cut off all relations: personal and financial with someone.
The plan was to stay in Skiathos for two days with Mr. Costas and Mrs. Elani Sartzetakis, Mary’s doting grandparents to acclimate. Then, we’ll travel on to Crete, a more popular tourist destination and on to Agios Nikalaos to bask on her cousin’s “boat” in the picturesque lake at the north-western side of the Mirabello bay, the biggest bay in Crete, where scenic beauty is endless and the climate uniquely dry, not a hint of humidity. There, we were to savor sea urchins, grilled octopuses, squids and red snappers just like how we do it in the Philippines. I had no reservations in going because I’d met her cousin’s family the previous summer when they vacationed in NYC. But, when we arrived in Skiathos, Mary’s grandparents change all that.
Costas or Papou (Lolo) took a good look at us and decided we stay in Skiathos so Elani or Yiayia (Lola) can fatten us up. To the loving grandparents’ eyes, we were thin, pale and seriously in need of nourishment for both body and spirit. I told Mary I wouldn’t mind. The sights in Skiathos, the loving care, the delicious grape leaves, spanakopita and moussaka plus the ocean-fresh seafood Papou and Yiayia were about to feed us were way more than I had originally bargained for. We stayed.
During our visit, Yiayia was peppy… stirred us out of bed at 9 am, forced feed us typical Greek breakfast of warm thick breads, hard boiled eggs, olives, feta cheese and other assorted pastries with cheese fillings all fresh from her kitchen. Mary drank strong-brewed Greek coffee, I took strong unsweetened tea. The intention was to strengthen our constitution.
By the time breakfast was over, Papou would sail in through the side door sweaty from his daily walk. Soon after, Mary’s lounging on the deck soaking rays of the glorious Mediterranean sun. Yiayia heads to the kitchen to check on her stove and to work on her phyllo dough (so I could watch her assemble the baklava) while awaiting the arrival of her preordered bounty from the sea from Nikos which would be our lunch. Nikos is a gorgeously built and marvelously tan fisherman in his late twenties. He resides about five white-fences away from the Sartzetakis, he was Mary’s old summer chum - - - from elementary through high school, 3 weeks of Mary’s summer were spent in Greece so she can perfect her Greek writing. Nikos run a profitable business owning several fishing boats that supply daily catch to the finest restaurants in the area.
While Mary was tanning, Yiayia cooking, Papou and I remain seated on the kitchen table talking about anything that he thought I - - - a non-Greek --- needed to know about life in general.
Knowing our current predicament, I was slowly healing, Mary was suffering Papou was concerned of our well-being, and was absolutely certain that it’s just a matter of time before Mary and I can connect to our “COT HAP”. But, we must work on finding these “HAP”! His voice flavored with urgency because he said, we were getting on with age. “You eh Maary get old fine your cot hap soon ehhh?!” Papou commanded. “Papou” I said, "I’m totally confused!”
Hard as Papou struggled to explain and hard as I tried to understand, it was hopeless. My brain had decided to shut down and refused to comprehend what he was saying…I was lost in translation.
You see, despite Papou’s slightly loose dentures and super thick accent, Papou, at age 92, physical appearance worn by time, mind still as quick as whip, likes to talk particularly to a non-greek like me and share his hard earned wisdom. Our conversations were doomed from the start but somehow, I managed to grasp vital information such as: he was 19 when he found and married his “cot hap” - - - the then 16-year old Elani Raptis: Yiayia, the prettiest girl from the neighboring villages combined. Their union was long and fruitful having produced eleven children, forty two grandchildren and he cannot remember how many great-grandchildren and he and Yiayia are as happy as the day they met. I knew they got hitched young, now I know how old exactly. Theirs was one great love story.
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The story of the “cot hap = cut half” or severed half came to me again surprisingly imbedded in Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book that Mary had graciously lent me. I’d read and returned it to her about two months ago. There, the story is printed in black and white with such clarity it made me start to cry because I thought of Papou then of Yiayia, God bless their happy souls. When I got to the chapter, I called Mary immediately when it all became clear to me. We laughed because unbeknown to me, the same story was told to her over and over again by Yiayia that time we were there. Yiayia didn’t speak a word of English, she told it to her in Greek. I was there listening but thinking that Yiayia was trying to convince Mary to marry Nikos (not her severed half) as it was obvious Nikos had a thing for Mary but, gentleman as he was, he didn’t want to ruin a good friendship. Mary lent me the book to see if I remember.
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Why we fall in and out of love? The problem is- - - "we humans are full of desire; it is the very hallmark of our emotional existence and it is what leads us to our downfall and downfall of others". Plato nailed it right on the head. For the first time, I fully understood what Papou was desperately trying to explain to me many years ago. He was telling me Plato’s, “The Symposium”.
It is the most famous treatise on desire ever written. In The Symposium, Plato describes a famous dinner party during which the playwright Aristophanes lays out the mythical story of why we humans have such deep longings for union with each other, and why our acts of union can sometimes be so unsatisfying, disastrous and even destructive.
Once upon a time, as Aristophanes relates, there were gods in the heavens and humans down on earth. But we humans did not look the way we look today. Instead, we each had two heads, four legs and four arms, a perfect melding of two people joined together seamlessly united into one being, one person. We came in three different possible gender variations: male/female, male/male and female/female blending, depending on what suited each creature the best.
Now, since we each had the perfect partner sewn into the very fabric of our being, we were all perfectly happy. All of us double-headed, eight-limbed, perfectly contented creatures moved across the land dreamily, orderly, smoothly lacking and wanting nothing. We had no unmet needs and we wanted nobody. There was no strife, no chaos, and no broken hearts because we were perfectly whole.
But, in our wholeness, we became overly proud. In our pride, we neglected and forgot to worship the gods. So the mighty Zeus punished us for our neglect and ingratitude by cutting all the doubled-headed, eight-limbed, perfectly happy and contented humans in half, (this is what Papou mean by “cot hap”) thereby creating a world of cruelly severed one-headed, two-armed, two-legged miserable individuals.
During this mass amputation, Zeus inflicted on mankind that most painful of human conditions: the dull and constant sense that we are not quite whole. For the rest of time, humans are born sensing that there is some missing part --- a lost half so to speak, that we love almost more than we love ourselves. We believe that this missing part is out there somewhere, in this vast universe spinning through in the form of another person. We are also born believing that if only we searched relentlessly enough, (which Papou commanded Mary and I to do) we will someday find that “cot hap”, that other soul--- our severed other half.
Through union with the other, we would recomplete our original form, never to experience loneliness again - - - which was what happened to Papou when he married Yiayia when they were 19 and 16, respectively. They were each other’s half, made whole. Wait, if they were each other’s half, what with the age difference? Huh, just pondering the correlation….
BUT, Aristophanes cautioned that this dream of completion-through-love is quite impossible because we are too broken as a species to ever entirely mend through simple union. The original chopped halves of the severed eight-limbed humans were far too scattered for any of us to ever find our missing halves again. But, here I surmise that the mighty Zeus took pity upon us mortals and decided to bestow on us a precious gift --- the creation of the internet, the world-wide-web so we can find our severed halves in every corner of the globe in all sorts of sites and chat rooms without leaving the comfort of our office or home. Most cost effective way to find and reconnect to our severed half!!!
But not so fast…union can make a person feel complete and sated for a while but somehow in one way or another, we will all be left alone with ourselves again. So the loneliness and longing continues, which causes us to mate with the wrong people over and over again, seeking perfected union. You see, we may believe at times that we have found our other severed half, but, it’s more likely that what we’ve found is somebody else who is searching for his other half as well - - - someone who is equally desperate to believe that he has found that completion in us. So, our search continues........
Now, what’s my take on this? I agree with Aristophanes that this dream of completion-through-love is impossible. At present day and age? I believe that love like Papou and Yiayia is a great rarity. To cope with the ever changing time, I think we, the severed halves, need to be a little creative. To achieve and maintain that elusive “complete union”, the severed two halves who’ve managed to find each other must do all possible to constantly adjust, tweak, mend and lubricate the scarred area where the two halves are joined to avoid friction. This way the two halves can work harmoniously, smoothly and move, function as one.
Ah...those Greeks, they're most fascinating.
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Pats, tsk, tsk, tsk I got carried away.
Kibs, your FB postings motivated me.
K-Spy please don't spank me for making fun of Plato and the gods. Can't resists.
oh no...Pats can't be Tweety Bird so, kami taraw ambaw...Pats hope you don't mind us being ratatouilles 
They married in 1985, 
