PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

[allen]

PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.



Ano daw ang difference ni Prince Charles At
Kulangot! -
Si Prince Charles ay "heir to the throne" while ang
Kulangot ay "Thrown to the Air".
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Bakit malungkot ang kalendaryo? - Kasi bilang na ang araw niya.

Eh bakit masuwerte naman ang kalendaryo? - Dahil marami siyang date.
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Grabe talaga ang mga iba diyan. Mahirap
intindihin...... sa kanila
ang malambot "SUP",
ang sabaw "SUP",
ang sabon "SUP" pa rin.
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How should COFFEE and your BOYFRIEND be
alike?
1) He has to be rich
2) He has to be hot
3) He has to keep you up all night!
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HUSBAND: Dear pinakita ko ang mga puting
buhok ko sa dibdib,approved agad ang SSS pension ko.
WIFE: Pinakita mo na rin sana ang bird mo para may dagdag - disability benefits.

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ANAK: ' Tay, anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?
ITAY: Anak, pagkumain tayo sa labas,
Dinner 'yun. Pag dito tayo kakain ng luto ng Mommy mo, Suffer yon!!
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What would happen if you have a wooden car
with wooden wheels, a wooden chair and a wooden engine?
It wooden start!!!

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There is a Filipino in an American coffee shop:
Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like,
regular or decaf?

Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
Waiter : What would you like for your breakfast?
Pinoy: Hameneggs.
Waiter : And how do you like your eggs, sir?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
Waiter : No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I wud like dem cooked.
Waiter : (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs...fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?
Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard
boiled or sop boiled.

Waiter: And what bread would you like?
Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
Waiter : What kind of bread would you like? white? rye? Whole wheat? toast?
Pinoy: Pan Americano
Waiter: We don't have that.
Pinoy: Okey, gib me taystee.
Waiter: We don't have that either, sir.
Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?

Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?
Pinoy: Donut plis....


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Two married men talking...
1st man: Swerte ko, my wife is an angel.

2nd man: Buti ka pa, ako, ang asawa ko buhay pa.

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Wife : Love, mahal mo ba ako?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.
Wife : Enjoy ka ba sa akin?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.
Wife : Baka naman binobola mo lang ako?
Husband: Siyempre, asawa kita eh.
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Anak : Tays ! kakains nas tayos !
Tatay : Hoy ! Tigilan mo yang kalalagay mo ng 'S' sa mga sinasabi mo ha ! Ano ba ang ulam ?
Anak : BANGU na may KAMATI, ARDINA na may
IBUYA !

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[allen]

thanks to the authors of the jokes above... whoever they are... i just copied from my e-mail...